Diuretics, Dung, Duck Tape, and Staple Guns

Movie Review: The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)
Summary: Inspired by the movie, a fan of The Human Centipede begins to bring his sick fantasies to life.
Spoilers: none

After making a list-topper horror called The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (which I reviewed and even liked), Tom Six brings us a second part to the madness called The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence).

Whereas the first film I praised for having a strong lead heading up a movie with a premise that no one had dared to think up, the second film is a reeling disappointment, an uncreative, unlikable, monstrously exploitative shit-fest of diuretics, duck tape, and staple guns.

Disturbed loner “Martin” (Laurence R. Harvey) works security for a parking garage where he watches The Human Centipede over and over again every night. Sometimes, he gets so excited that he has to relieve his sexual tensions at work. He has a picture book of the movie and its stars. He salivates all over it. He keeps it tucked under his bed at night, a bed he soils out of being a trauma-made psycho.

His old mother (Vivien Bridson) is nearly as whacko as he is. She finds his stashed cutout book and says aloud: “Human Centipede?”, “Mouth to anus?”, “One digestive system?”, “Is this a perverted film you've been talking about?” I like her enough to tolerate her—and to work with the film’s unilateral borrowing from Psycho.

This ugly, depraved little man of limited intelligence barely says a word throughout this ugly, depraved little film. This would hurt any movie about a psycho (how can we relate to them if we can’t learn about them and their sick fetishes via the ominous, twisted things they say?) But the film’s goal was to make Martin as reprehensible as possible in just showing his sad little life. Mission accomplished. I was thoroughly disgusted in just getting glimpses into his everyday life with mom and the doctor (Bill Hutchens).

When Martin is overcome with his fantasies of becoming a real-life Dr. Heiter, he starts out promisingly enough. He begins capturing victims where he works. He’s a deadeye shot, but always manages to shoot a victim to drop them, though he never kills them (but never gets them medical treatment to keep them alive), and yet they never bleed out.

And as the legitimate successor child of a film that touted itself as “100% medically accurate,” you would think they would have realized what simple medical research would have revealed. That research tells us about knocking someone out: If they stay asleep for longer than 30 seconds or several minutes, they’re probably going to die or have permanent brain damage. But without even swinging hard, Martin knocks out his crying, screaming victims repeatedly. No fatalities.

The film is in black and white for several purposes, and it has little to do with artistic concerns and a lot more to do with giving Six the freedom to be more up-close graphic with severing tendons and such.

Bottom line: Martin’s search for 12 human victims to make into a 12-human human you couldn’t see coming, not with the likes of Harvey following Laser (the brilliant – and contrastingly competent – doctor from part I). This badly acted, repulsive, crappy scream-fest of simplistic stupidity and limited vision is a big, un-stimulating letdown to all.

Whereas the first movie had a powerful lead character and a story that nobody had dared to touch, this is intended as pure puke fuel. It is matched in grotesque murders, sex, sleaze, full-body nudity, and transformative mutilation by nothing yet done in cinema. In that regard, it succeeds, but this doesn’t count for very much when the movie makes you laugh as hard as I did.

This crazy, mentally retarded mute Martin feels justified doing what he does because his life so sucks, and we feel actually campy watching him do it. We don’t feel bad for anyone. I could eat while watching this bullshit. After watching the first film, I couldn’t eat for a day or more—a huge indication in the difference in quality.

“Miss Yennie” (Ashley Yennie), who played “Jenny” from the first film, makes an appearance as herself, but that’s pretty much it. She tries to inject some of her personality, but when she finds herself about to be disfigured, she has little to say to convince this sicko that he needs help (like she tried to do in the first movie). Her character is sadly underutilized…in a movie that is itself just sad.

The film is a bomb. The screams and moans are unconvincing and it only manages to be creepy because of its main character, and for reasons we quickly get used to. Not much surprises us. Nothing is implied and everything is shown close-up. The first film left room for imagination, resulting in terror conceived from what we didn’t see but only knew was going on. This, on the other hand, is extreme shock-value and it’s wholesale waste.

You could record footage for a Halloween scream soundtrack with the audio from this film since there isn’t much dialog. The laxative-induced diarrhea explosions that splash against the camera are for sure laughable. The unintentionally hilarious affect this had on me is not what was hoped for, no doubt.

Grade: F (0 stars)
Rated: No MPAA rating
Director: Tom Six
Starring: “Martin” (Laurence R. Harvey), “Miss Yennie” (Ashlynn Yennie), Misses Lomax (Vivien Bridson), “Dr.Sebring” (Bill Hutchens)
Genre: Horror