Little or Big Fish, it's All The Same

Movie Review: Piranha (2010)
Spoilers: none


Whether it's Jaws or little fish with sharp, tiny teeth in the form of a ravaging hungry school of released prehistoric piranha out for food, the thrill is just the same (and just as cheap).

Riddled with plenty of humor of limited affect and characters of arguably more limited appeal, Piranha has what most of us would expect—lots of skin and a few celebrities. Among them are Richard Dreyfuss in an opening segment that does his star status no justice, and Elisabeth Shue as coast guard cop Julie Forester, trying to police wild Lake Victoria on Spring Break. Christopher Lloyd plays Mr. Goodman, a marine biologist.

Available in 3D for slightly more of a thrill, this presentation of aimless gore and countless scenes of partying kids – with their bodies chewed in half and limbs eaten to the bone in impossibly short periods of time – is a thoroughgoing disappointment, despite some funny moments and several suspenseful twists.

This wet and senseless expedition was not in the least poorly made. It was, however, pointlessly made, as a blood-and-guts flirt with hammy humor and horny teens. This doesn't stop it from taking its rightful place in the dry graveyard of ultimately meaningless movies.



Grade: D+ (1 ½ stars)
Rated: R (for sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language, and some drug use)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Summary: After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food.
Starring: Richard Dreyfuss "Matt Boyd," Ving Rhames "Deputy Fallon," Elisabeth Shue "Julie Forester," Christopher Lloyd "Mr. Goodman," Eli Roth "Wet T-Shirt Host," Jerry O'Connell "Derrick Jones," Cody Longo "Todd Dupree," Steven R. McQueen "Jake Forester," Jessica Szohr "Kelly"
Genre:  Comedy / Horror / Thriller