Skip to main content

Movie Review: War on Everyone (2017)

Terry Monroe (Alexander Skarsgård) and Bob Bolano (Michael Pena) are cops. They are the type of cops that bad guys have a run-in with and go away saying: “Who is worse? Me or those cops?” They are corrupt cops. That’s putting it lightly. It’s a crapshoot if their boss (Paul Reiser) and fellow officers on the department’s payroll are much better, but these cats were well on their way to being fired LONG before the events of this movie started.

Being unhappy with themselves and naturally impulsive by nature, they chase down every scummy drug-dealer, pimp, and kingpin they can find. They extort them and get rid of them, either by offing them or locking them up (usually the former), depending on how big of an offender they happen to be.

When some small-time hustles put them in touch with “Lord James Mangan” (Theo James), the stakes get higher. What do we, the audience, get? A very clever script that makes us laugh. It goes nowhere, but it damn sure makes us laugh.


Of the real bad guys, we get this Mangan fellow. He’s intended to be interesting, but he’s a fill-in for what is supposed to look like a complex, cigarette-smoking, and very reflective villain whose dark compulsions you don't want to be the target of. But it becomes painfully obvious that he’s just a shell. He has no real substance behind his conception. He is up there with “Dominic Greene,” the forgettable James Bond villain. His cohort, “Birdwell” (Caleb Landry Jones), is doing quite a bit better.

War on Everyone starts out strong and quickly grabs our interest. It maximizes screentime and provides ample entertainment. It does well by including talents like Tessa Thompson as “Jackie Hollis,” Monroe’s squeeze, but the movie is itself an excursion of humor that goes nowhere. It does nothing because it is nothing, having a letdown for a final showdown and a plot-twist-lacking unfolding that can't help but be noticed. Unfortunately, we walk away feeling like what we saw was a so-so investment of our time at best, which is double-unfortunate since we can see throughout that the writing behind McDonagh’s script definitely had the chops to succeed.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Jesus Turns Down the Glory: 10 Worst Ever Christian Songs

It’s a sad testimony when even the creator of a thing realizes that the product isn’t what it was intended to be. Well, actually it’s a good thing. It just doesn’t happen often enough. The Christian music industry is, shall we say, not up to par with where its admirers (and even creators and ardent well-wishers) would hope it would be. And when even the average believer realizes that their music is not market-cornering stuff, all should know that there is a problem.

Now not all Christian music sucks (you might even find a few rock songs from artists like Petra on Joe Holman’s ipod that he still sometimes listens to and enjoys), but what makes the stuff that does suck suck is that what sucks sucks for a number of different reasons. We begin the countdown going from best of the worst to absolute worst...

The Top 5 Most Powerful Beings in Sci-fi (Part I of II)

It’s a subject that is rarely tackled in any form outside of random questions on a message board, but here we will devote a sensible examination of it. Who – what – is the most powerful being anywhere in every realm of sci-fi or fantasy ever dreamt up by a finite human being? I’ve been contemplating this subject since I was 8 years old. At 39, it hasn’t left my mind. That means several things; (1) I’m a fucking geek. (2) I’ve invested enough of my life pondering this for it to qualify as an obsession.

As with all “Most” anything lists, we are faced with several problems, one of them being limited source material. A couple of these only made one or two brief appearances somewhere and that is all we have to go by. But sometimes, those situations let our imaginations go into overdrive and give us even more creative fun. The mystery tends to add to the experience of contemplation.

The Top 5 Most Powerful Beings in Sci-fi (Part II of II)

#1) The Douwds – From Star Trek The Next Generation

Claim to fame: This Douwd went from pacifist to mass murderer of 50 billion in a single moment of anger. He appears to hold the record for most murders in all of sci-fi.
Abilities: Just about unlimited.
Nature: True immortals.

Our winner, debatably edging out number #2, is a mysterious race of beings called the Douwds. We only get to meet one of their kind in a single episode (#51, season 3 - see the condensed version here) called “The Survivors.” It was one of the very best of any season. What little we know of this illusive race “of disguises and false surroundings” only adds to our fascination with them.

When the Enterprise gets an urgent distress call from a federation colony on Delta Rana IV about an attacking alien warship, they head over as fast as they can, but they are days away. By the time they arrive, it is too late. All are dead and the planet has been literally leveled…with the sole exception of one house and the small pa…