Skip to main content

A Smoky Hotel Hell

Two weeks ago was a turning point for me, as it was the end of a living situation nightmare that made the whole month of September an exceedingly miserable time.

As I write, I'm sitting in a pearl white recliner at home in San Antonio, that place that has the sometimes taken-for-granted benefit of a city-wide smoking ban in all businesses, something the Dallas/Ft. Worth area needs to get and enforce. I'm presently sucking down a 44 oz sweet tea and getting caught up on some writing as the fourth heap of clothes dries.

Why all these clothes? Because I had to wash every garment and blanket I own to get the smoke smell out that was put there by gaunt, leather-faced, saggy-forearmed, red-nosed, denture-wearing, baggy-eyed, dirty, unkempt, white-trash pieces of shit who made it a practice to smoke INSIDE their apartments instead of stepping outside, like a normal person getting their tobacco fix.

I never found out who they are, but I couldn't have done anything about it if I had. The place where I lived allowed smoking in the building, and that made my already bleak existence an even more enraged and bitter one...until two weeks ago when I got my ass out of Dodge!

I can't reproduce it here as it is an Associated Content Exclusive. Read the full story HERE.

P.S. If you smoke in your apartment, I'm telling you to go fuck yourself for being inconsiderate of every non-smoker in your building who is exposed to the offensive 4,000+ chemicals that make smoking bans a needful thing to enforce.

Fuck you for every couch you've ever ruined and every wall that had to be repainted on account of your nasty, stinking, nicotine-craving ass! Take your shit outside! Get it away from us!



  1. Hey, Joe, glad to hear things are going so much better.

    I can't stand tobacco smoke either, at least not in an enclosed area. It does get into everything.

  2. Crazy thing about the gaunt, leatherfaced, saggy forearmed, rednosed, denture wearing..........
    there probably about 15 years old.

    P.S. The best Ice Tea in the world is from San Antonio. I wish I had some.

    later, feeno

  3. I adore tea.

    Peach Diet Snapple is my absolute fav.

  4. As much as it pains me to admit it, yes, Feeno, they might have been 15 years old. What would I ever do without your insights?

    Does SA have the market cornered on tea? I didn't know that, but Bill Miller BBQ tea sho is good as hell.


  5. Grace
    I adore you, but.............
    Peach Diet Snapple isn't tea.

    Yes. and it's not even close. Texas, especially the San Antonio area has the best of all food and beverages in the land. I used to wear out Henry's Taco's on Nogalitas. Tommy's fish. La Canasta. Piernas Negras. And always washed it back with some good ole Texas sweet tea. Ahh yes, Bill Miller's, a must for me and the Mrs. when we went to town. Unless we passed a Taco Cabana?

    Late, feeno

  6. Whaatt!! C'mon, you can't diss my Peach Diet Snapple. :(

    Love ya, anyway. ((Feeno.))

    But, what makes this tea so great in Texas?? Somethin in the water??

  7. I had no idea the tea was that great in Texas. I just know I sweeten mine (heavily) and gulp it down. I take regular black only, none of that feminine fruity stuff!

    Best food too--can't be the Mexican goodies! I fucking hate the north because it sucks up here.


  8. I've only been through Texas once, on my way to Mexican, and Central America. Believe it or not we drove down the whole way from the east, to study the Mayan ruins in Tikal in Guatamela. Visited some NW archaeology sites in Mexico, also.

    This was while I was still in school. Mucha years ago.

    But, I can definitely remember that Texas stretched on for..ever!! It is a huge state. Honestly, I thought we would never get out of there. Darn, if I had only known about this "texas tea."

    More recently, my son was in basic training with the national guard near SA. He's told me all about the riverwalk, and the awesome food.

    Hope you get to stay there, Joe.

    I don't know exactly what kind of work you do, but you strike me as someone who should be working as a rhetoric, or maybe a philosophy/religion university professor, with plenty of opportunities to publish.:)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Jesus Turns Down the Glory: 10 Worst Ever Christian Songs

It’s a sad testimony when even the creator of a thing realizes that the product isn’t what it was intended to be. Well, actually it’s a good thing. It just doesn’t happen often enough. The Christian music industry is, shall we say, not up to par with where its admirers (and even creators and ardent well-wishers) would hope it would be. And when even the average believer realizes that their music is not market-cornering stuff, all should know that there is a problem.

Now not all Christian music sucks (you might even find a few rock songs from artists like Petra on Joe Holman’s ipod that he still sometimes listens to and enjoys), but what makes the stuff that does suck suck is that what sucks sucks for a number of different reasons. We begin the countdown going from best of the worst to absolute worst...

Movie Review: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

When free spirit “Jules” (Anna “Go Girls” Hutchison) tells her best friend “Dana” (Kristen “Revolutionary Road” Connolly) what a good time they’ll be having at a cabin in the remote woods, you automatically know and are glad that she has no idea at all what awaits her or her friends, and neither does Jules’ jock boyfriend “Curt” (Chris “Thor” Hemsworth). The same is true of their intellectual friend with his notably piercing gaze, “Holden” (Jesse “Grey’s Anatomy” Williams) and their stoner friend “Marty” (Franz “The Village” Kranz) who seems to have a better grasp of reality, despite himself. Takes all kinds.

After taking off in the RV up the mountain, they stop for gas and run into a weirdly cryptic and confrontational gas station attendant (Tim De Zarn). When they’re back on the road after a near-fight, it isn’t long before they arrive and forget all about it. Following horror movie suit in letting out their whoas about how cool the place is and how much fun they will have losing t…

Movie Review: Django Unchained (2012)

At about 3 hours long, Django Unchained is Quentin Tarantino’s latest mental sickness-inspired adventure of a slave named “Django” (Jamie Foxx) who is freed by a German dentist-turned-bounty hunter, “Dr. King Schultz” (Christoph Waltz) who helps Django rescue his enslaved wife from a cruel plantation owner (Leonardo DiCaprio) in Mississippi.