Skip to main content

Midnight Movie

Movie title: Midnight Movie (2008)
Grade: F (0 stars)
Rated: R
Summation: A madman lives and kills as an evil entity when his old film is replayed inside a movie theatre.
Spoilers ahead: No

---

Just once in my life, I want to see a B-movie of camcorder-level quality or above that makes me forget that I am watching a mega-low-budget film. We're not talking immaculate, just something that will prove compelling and moving. Midnight Movie is not much above a camcorder-level quality film and what arguably should be classified as a “C-movie” out of respect for B-movies.

It starts off in a psych ward where an old man who used to make films is shown one of his old films in hopes of making him responsive and rehabilitate-able. Did you guess that the film he made and wants to watch is a horror film of himself killing? Well, it is.

The old fart was committed for going psycho on everyone years earlier. When shown the movie, for some ridiculous reason, he becomes enabled to exist in the film and outside of it as a devilish serial killer endowed with super powers, wearing half of a skull for a mask and overalls as he kills with an oversized, hand-turned drill bit.

He can only kill you if you fear him. He smells fear. He's invulnerable to bullets, and yet there is evidence that if you are holding a metal pipe, he might get hurt, so he will avoid you until you stupidly put the pipe down, like one dumb teen does before he bites the big one.

Why the demented old man is a wicked, insane killer we are not told, but he killed decades ago, and thanks to the doctors for showing him the film again, he's runamok for a second wave of death.

And he's not even an original killer. He's just made up from what is not far off from a modified “Jason” hockey mask, with Freddy Krueger's fear-sensing/killing ability, mixed with the overalls of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre murderer. And he has a mother who influences him like in Psycho. If your goal is to insult my intelligence, Mr. Director, you are doing a damn fine job!

And no, the goal was not to parody horror films. It puts too much of itself into being horrifying, and it is horrifying—especially the lighting. In the film, a police officer, a young couple, and some teenagers are trapped and hunted by this thing inside a movie theatre. All I can say is, I'm glad as can be that the flick didn't make it to the theatres for the sake of audiences everywhere. It was “torture” to watch (if you know what I mean).

It's slow and boring to the point of making an audience practically beg for death. It's menacing enough to frighten the hell out of grade-schoolers, but only a grade-schooler would construct a film this way. Even by B-movie standards, this one is terrible. I doubt if the Sci-fi channel will lay a finger on it.

Please, haven't I suffered enough? What's the point in anyone else having to suffer in seeing this? Please, please, please, don't subject your loved ones to this...even if it is found only in the bargain basement section of Walmart.

(JH)

---

Director: Jack Messitt
Starring: Rebekah Brandes “Bridget,” Daniel Bonjour “Josh,” Greg Cirulnick “Mario,” Stan Ellsworth “Harley,” Mandell Maughan “Samantha,” Melissa Steach “Babe,” Justin Baric “Timmy,” Jon Briddell “Detective Barrons,” Michael Swan “Dr. Wayne”
Genre: Horror

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When Jesus Turns Down the Glory: 10 Worst Ever Christian Songs

It’s a sad testimony when even the creator of a thing realizes that the product isn’t what it was intended to be. Well, actually it’s a good thing. It just doesn’t happen often enough. The Christian music industry is, shall we say, not up to par with where its admirers (and even creators and ardent well-wishers) would hope it would be. And when even the average believer realizes that their music is not market-cornering stuff, all should know that there is a problem.

Now not all Christian music sucks (you might even find a few rock songs from artists like Petra on Joe Holman’s ipod that he still sometimes listens to and enjoys), but what makes the stuff that does suck suck is that what sucks sucks for a number of different reasons. We begin the countdown going from best of the worst to absolute worst...

The Top 5 Most Powerful Beings in Sci-fi (Part I of II)

It’s a subject that is rarely tackled in any form outside of random questions on a message board, but here we will devote a sensible examination of it. Who – what – is the most powerful being anywhere in every realm of sci-fi or fantasy ever dreamt up by a finite human being? I’ve been contemplating this subject since I was 8 years old. At 39, it hasn’t left my mind. That means several things; (1) I’m a fucking geek. (2) I’ve invested enough of my life pondering this for it to qualify as an obsession.

As with all “Most” anything lists, we are faced with several problems, one of them being limited source material. A couple of these only made one or two brief appearances somewhere and that is all we have to go by. But sometimes, those situations let our imaginations go into overdrive and give us even more creative fun. The mystery tends to add to the experience of contemplation.

The Top 5 Most Powerful Beings in Sci-fi (Part II of II)

#1) The Douwds – From Star Trek The Next Generation

Claim to fame: This Douwd went from pacifist to mass murderer of 50 billion in a single moment of anger. He appears to hold the record for most murders in all of sci-fi.
Abilities: Just about unlimited.
Nature: True immortals.

Our winner, debatably edging out number #2, is a mysterious race of beings called the Douwds. We only get to meet one of their kind in a single episode (#51, season 3 - see the condensed version here) called “The Survivors.” It was one of the very best of any season. What little we know of this illusive race “of disguises and false surroundings” only adds to our fascination with them.

When the Enterprise gets an urgent distress call from a federation colony on Delta Rana IV about an attacking alien warship, they head over as fast as they can, but they are days away. By the time they arrive, it is too late. All are dead and the planet has been literally leveled…with the sole exception of one house and the small pa…